Jokeindex home

Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe (PG)


More Stuff!
Jokeindex Home
PG rated jokes
Drunks and Bars
Holiday
Stupid Jokes
Thanksgiving
HOW TO COOK A THANKSGIVING TURKEY

STEP 1: GO BUY A TURKEY
STEP 2: TAKE A DRINK OF WHISKEY (SCOTCH)
STEP 3: PUT TURKEY IN THE OVEN
STEP 4: TAKE ANOTHER 2 DRINKS OF WHISKEY
STEP 5: SET THE DEGREE AT 375 OVENS
STEP 6: TAKE 3 MORE WHISKEYS OF DRINK
STEP 7: TURN OVEN THE ON
STEP 8: TAKE 4 WHISKS OF DRINKY
STEP 9: TURK THE BASTEY
STEP 10: WHISKEY ANOTHER BOTTLE OF GET
STEP 11: STICK A TURKEY IN THE THERMOMETER
STEP 12: GLASS YOURSELF A POUR OF WHISKEY
STEP 13: BAKE THE WHISKEY FOR HOURS
STEP 14: TEST THE LURKEY FOR NUMBNESS
STEP 15: TAKE THE OVEN OUT OF THE LURKEY
STEP 16: FLOOR THE LURKEY UP OFF OF THE PICK
STEP 17: TURK THE CARVEY
STEP 18: GET YOURSELF NUTHER SCOTTLE OF BOTCH
STEP 19: TET THE SABLE AND POUR YOURSELF A GLASS OF TURKEY
STEP 20: BLESS THE SAYING, PASS AND EAT OUT=2




Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: A bit about Starbucks-ese
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter