1. You think it's okay to drink out of Styrofoam.
2. You say you're "just getting used to the taste" and get a caramel macchiato.
3. You, again, say you're "just getting used to the taste," and the color of your coffee looks like milk.
4. You complain about how much you need coffee but say you have never suffered from a caffeine headache.
5. You don't know what a trenta is.
6. You don't know the difference between dark and light roast.
7. You say how desperately you need a cup of coffee and get a vanilla latte.
8. You think decaf coffee serves some sort of purpose.
9. You pull an all-nighter writing a paper and think a cafe mocha from Tim Hortons will help you stay up.
10. You get jumpy after a tall cup of coffee.
11. You go to Starbucks with a laptop and think you're a hipster.
~~
Editor's note: See my related blog post on
Amateur Coffee Drinkers
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by
clicking here.
Or buy it in print!
Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter
