Bush Seeks Answers On Iraq From 'Jeopardy' Champion

Game Show Set Recreated in White House Basement

President George W. Bush has sought answers on Iraq from Ken Jennings, the champion of the popular game show "Jeopardy," White House aides confirmed today.

Mr. Bush first came to believe that Mr. Jennings might have the answers on Iraq when he saw the game-show whiz on television earlier this summer, telling aides, "That there is the smartest man in the world."

After contacting Mr. Jennings, White House aides began constructing a mock-up of the "Jeopardy!" set in the basement of the White House and enlisted "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek to reprise his usual role.

Instead of the usual potpourri of "Jeopardy!" questions, however, the special White House edition had only categories that pertained to the crisis in Iraq, such as "ANGRY SHIITES," "RUPTURED OIL PIPELINES," and "MASSIVE POWER OUTAGES."

According to those who saw Mr. Jennings play the special Iraqi version, the champ breezed through most of the questions but was stumped when he got to "EXIT STRATEGIES" for $100.

"The most likely outcome of the war in Iraq, this should happen by the end of 2005," Mr. Trebek read.

"What is civil war and total chaos?" Mr. Jennings guessed.

"No, I'm sorry," Mr. Trebek replied. "The correct question is, 'What is a thriving Middle Eastern democracy and a beacon of hope for the entire region?'"

Mr. Bush, disappointed by Mr. Jennings' performance, reportedly told aides, "Ken Jennings may be the smartest man in the world but when it comes to Iraq he's as dumb as a post."

Elsewhere, in yet another embarrassment for CBS, the network today acknowledged that "not everyone" loves Raymond.

Buy my book!

Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter

Bush Seeks Answers On Iraq From 'Jeopardy' Champion (G)