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Tony Applies for a Job (PG)
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Tony went into the fish market to apply for a job.

The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Bronx kid, so he decided to set a test for Tony hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

Tony says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

The boss says, "What in the world is that?"

Tony says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine."

"Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99".

Tony stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree.

"Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Tony answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's - dirty tree 'n dirtytree 'n dirty tree - dat 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Tony so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100."

Tony stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir - 100."

The boss looks at Tony's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time."

He then tells Tony, "Go on Tony, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100."

Tony leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree", so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an 'a turd, which makes 100.

"When do I start my job?"


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