Editor's note: I usually say, "take it with a grain of salt" but I verified this with the gent who sent it in and I trust him. It happend.

-------
I had a minor but vexing problem with Windows98 Second Edition in June 2000, so I navigated the MS-Maze(tm) at http://search.support.microsoft.com/. Once I was at a page that looked like it was suitable, I articulated my problem and clicked SUBMIT.

I got a nice reply which seemed sensible, but in the end didn't solve the problem. I let them know that the solution they offered didn't work. I went on to tell them that the process for getting their suggested solution (separate and apart from the fact that it was useless), by navigating a website with logins and passwords was pretty silly. Why not just send me an email?

I got This Reply [typos are left in because it shows this was from a real person who did not use/have a spell checker:

> > Delighting our customers is our top priority. We welcome your
> > comments and suggestions about how wecan imporve the support
> > we provide to you.
> >
> > We look forward to hearing from you.

Heh. If you know me at all, you know I did just that:

> Sirs:
>
> 1) The question was about running a simple DOS progam under Windows.
>
> 2) I think that it is absurd to have to access a website to get
> your answer to my question.
>
> 3) Your answer to my question is indistinguishable from an email,
> and does not look better or easier to understand on a website.
>
> 4) I feel it is absurd to lock this email on a web page that
> requires login and password that I am unlikely to ever use again.
> My question was as generic as can be. There is no need to place
> the discussion of this issue in a secure environment.
>
> 5) Your web server refused to recognize my login and my password, 24
> hours after accepting them.
>
> 6) It is my strong recommendation you award this systems designer and
> manager, "Dilbert PHB" Certificate for silly non-functional
> system of the week.
>
> 7) Kindly do not recommend that I should use a Microsoft Browser
> or email client to access your system.

[The login and password worked 24 hours later. They explained that the password database had crashed.]

Here is their NEXT reply:

> Hello :
>
> I apologize for the fact that we did not meet your expectations in this
> particular instance. My goal as a Manager is to make sure that every
> customer receives the service they deserve.
>
> Please accept my apologies!!

Well not being one to let a straight line like that pass I replied:

> Hi there Customer Feedback for PSS Customers, good to hear from you.
>
> Thank you for your kind note. I shall take it in the spirit in
> which it was sent.
>
> Warm regards,
>
>