1) It insulates the closet where it is kept.
2) It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.
3) A sudden increase in the boll weevil population might wipe out the cotton crop for the next 10 years.
4) I'm participating in a contest - the one who dies with the most fabric wins!
5) Because I'm worth it!
6) It's not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good!
7) Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all your shopping expeditions.
8) It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to protect the jobs of textile mill workers, and quilt shop staff with cute babies and grandchildren.
9) It keeps the dust off those previously empty spaces like the dining room table or the living room floor.
10) It keeps without refrigeration, you don't have to cook it to enjoy it, you never have to feed it, burp it, change it, wipe its nose, or walk it!
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by
clicking here.
Or buy it in print!
Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: The New Facebook is Text Messaging
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter
