Farmer's Daughter gives a ride

A salesman is driving down a country road one day when his car broke down. There was a farm near by, so he went up to ask for some help. The farmer suggested that his daughter, Nelly, could give him a ride into town to get the necessary parts for his car. Nelly was an innocent girl, the epitome of virginal beauty.

Nelly and the salesman were on their way into town when he convinced her to pull over to the side of the road to enlighten her about the facts of life. They had some down and dirty sex all over the car, and then went into town to get the car parts. By the time they got into town, the auto store was closed, so they had to return to the farm. The farmer allowed the salesman to spend the night in the barn and get his car fixed in the morning.

The next morning the salesman went up to the farmhouse to get Nelly so she could give him a ride into town. Nelly was gone, however, and her sister Venus opened the door. Venus was very unlike Nelly. She was sexy, voluptuous, and really even a bit sleazy. Venus volunteered to give the salesman a ride into town, and off they went. Venus did the convincing this time, and the salesman had the "ride" of his life. They eventually made it back to the farm with the parts, and the salesman fixed his car. He thanked the farmer, left his address to they could keep in touch in the future, and went on his merry way.

A few months later the salesman received a later from the farmer which contained only a poem:

Were you the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down?
'Cause since you met my daughter Nelly,
There's a swelling in her belly,
And you'd better get your ass back into town.

The salesman thought for a minute, and wrote the following response:

Yes, I was the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down.
But since I met your daughter Venus,
I've had some problems with my penis,
So I guess we're pretty even all around.

Buy my book!

Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Farmer's Daughter gives a ride (R)