Why did the chicken cross the road?

Picard: There are four lights!

Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!

Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion- propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.

Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.

Worf: KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.

Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...

Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!

Mr. Homn:

Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.

Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!

The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.