1> Group: Anorexics Anonymous. You: Big chubby guy with an affinity for cheesecake.

2> Only half an hour into the meeting, and the keg's already dry.

3> Counselor greets you with, "Well, if it isn't Princess Pathetic!"

4> Their idea of 12 Steps involves two six-packs.

5> Instead of Mars & Venus, leader suggests you get in touch with Uranus.

6> You're host of the upcoming pool party for your Incontinent Beer-Drinkers Support Group.

7> They've voted to change their name to "Cathie Haters Anonymous."

8> Your Heart Attack Recovery Group counselor hasn't moved in three weeks and is starting to smell a little gamey.

9> Four months and the Nymphomania Group still hasn't recruited a female member.

10> Their 12-step program: "Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in, then you shake it all about..."

11> "Parents Without Partners" survey: 18 members, 18 beards.

12> The washroom towels at your Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting all say, "Holiday Inn."

13> None of the other sex addicts really understand how tough it is to run the damn country.

14> "The 'Making Your Marriage Work' seminar is happy to introduce our guest speaker, Larry King."

15> The name: Promise Breakers

16> You start to wonder if other Overeaters Anonymous groups stop their meetings for triple-bacon-cheeseburger breaks.