1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
4. You must've been doin about 125 mph to keep up with me! good job!
5. Excuse me, is stick 'em up hyphenated?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer
7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
9. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
10. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell out of my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control...
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by
clicking here.
Or buy it in print!
Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter
