Ron and his friends are out at the local bar, "getting a-bit-to-much" to drink. Finally, after too many rounds, Ron leans over and pukes all over himself. "Hhey manh, looc herre. My...my honey is ggoing toh KILLLLL me! Me a mess!" he blurted.
Next, after a couple "drunk" moments, Ron's friend murmurs back, "Ittf's okey. Whhat ya doo, is you pu...put a 10 dollar bbill in yor poket, and tell you girlfrriend that someone else ppuuked on you, an gave ya 10 buks to got the shirt dri-cleanedd! It 'ill bee ookay."
"Aalll rightf."
When Ron goes home, sure enough, his girlfriend starts screaming the living hell out of him. "You go out with your little friends and come back all puked over your self! LOOK AT YOU! You're a mess. Everyti–"
Ron builds up his voice over the hargue, "IIt wasnn't mey. Soome othber guy, hee da one dat puke aall on me! loak, he gaave mhe a 10 dallor bill to cllean it...it...it up!"
Coldly, his girl friend replies, "Oh yeah, then how come that's a 20 bill!"
Ron proudly replies, "Well...um...uh...he...uh...also shit in my ppants!"
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by
clicking here.
Or buy it in print!
Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
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