1> "Hey, guys, how 'bout we finish this conversation over a beer at the topless bar?"

2> "Jim Beam me up, Scotty."

3> "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a has-been actor, not an autograph-signer!"

4> "To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Patrick Stewart."

5> "If you think the brie's good, you should try the salmon pate."

6> "Oooh, Girlfriend -- Just look at all these hunks! Set your phaser for 'Love!'"

7> "You're nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part of any Iron Man Triatholan."

8> "Look! It's Eddie Murphy!"

9> "I got laid last night!"

10> "Kirk, Picard... what's the difference, they're both losers. I'll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day."

11> "I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was really deserving of all this attention."

12> "It's pointless to compare the original crew to the Next Generation, since they're only fictional characters anyway."

13> "Make it so, Baby, make it so."

14> "Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me look fat?"

15> "Will the owner of the red Porsche 911, license plate 'STUDMFN', please turn your headlights off?"