Sales:                     http://www.microsoft.com/buy/or/die
Marketing:                 http://www.microsoft.com/spread/the/word
Public relations:          http://www.microsoft.com/spin/control
Human resources:           http://www.microsoft.com/you/will/be/assimilated
Hardware group:            http://www.microsoft.com/we/be/mice
Legal department:          http://www.microsoft.com/you/be/busy
Technical support:         http://www.microsoft.com/you/be/screwed
Windows development:       http://www.microsoft.com/make/it/slow
Applications development:  http://www.microsoft.com/make/it/big
Office of the president:   http://www.microsoft.com/deus/ex/machina