Mo' Yo' Momma

Yo mama so fat when she sees a school bus she yells "STOP THAT TWINKI!"

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the beach cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat she irons he jeans on the drive way.

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so ugly when she went to an ugly contest, they said no professionals

Yo mama so fat when she weights herself the scale says one at a time pleas

Yo mama so fat she uses weather balloons for condoms

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach the people yell "FREE WILLY,FREE WILLY"

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach she blocks out the sun

Yo mama's like a door knob, every one get a turn

Yo mama's like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw

Yo mama's like a light switch, easy to turn on

Yo mama so fat when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips

Buy my book!

Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
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Mo' Yo' Momma (PG)