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Q. What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
A. Nice tits!

Q. Why do they call it PMS?
A. Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's the difference between a muff-dive and a speed-trap?
A. With a muff-dive you always have a clear view of the cunt!!

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. Why would a bloke give his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for her birthday?
A. Because if she doesn't like the slippers she can go and get fucked.

Q. What's the difference between a police car and a pair of knickers
A. You can only fit one cunt in a pair of knickers.

Q. What did Yul Brynner say to Freddy Mercury in heaven?
A. So the fags got you too !!

Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself!!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool
A: Air pockets.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob
A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs or your meat but you just can't beat a blowjob.

Q. Did you hear about the new shoe Nike is making for lesbians
A. The tongue is twice as long and it will only need one finger to get it off

Q: What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken.

Q: How do you tell that you have a high sperm count
A: Your date has to chew before she swallows

Q: What's the difference between a Ritz Cracker and a Lesbian?
A: A Ritz is a snack cracker, a Lesbian is a crack snacker.

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