Jokeindex home

Breadwinner (G)

More Stuff!
Jokeindex Home
G rated jokes
Politics
This World We Live In
My wife is a nurse at a local hospital. Her specialty is “Catching Babies”. She told me last night (after getting home from her 14-hour shift) that a woman in her 20s was admitted to the Labor and Delivery Department with her 8th pregnancy; third time this woman was her patient in the last 3 years.

Reviewing her admission chart the patient had reported that her occupation was “Bread Winner.” She asked her to explain. The patient said that she can make babies and babies get money for the Family. It goes like this: Shortly after delivery (Paid for by The Oregon Health Plan) The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states that the unemployed daughter has a history of drug abuse and is not capable of caring for the child. The DCFS dispatches a case worker ($65,000 per year public employee) and agrees that the child will need to go to foster care.

The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check for $1500 per month from the state of Oregon. She is already the care-giver and foster parent for the other 7-children. Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free, not to mention free healthcare for her and all of the kids (Oregon Health Plan) plus The Oregon Trail Card (Food Stamps) and a Voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month. This does not even include WIC and other Federal, State and Charity welfare programs. The grandma has already secured HUD housing and is receiving money from The State of Oregon for household expenses and utilities.

In addition, the grandma is collecting $3,000 annually per child in “Earned Income Credit” on her tax return, even though her sole source of income is from the State and Federal Government. I will let you do the math, but you can figure that “The Family” is collecting more than a quarter million dollars per year in cash and assistance.

The grandma does however give back to “The System” by paying her sister $3,000 per month as a live-in Nanny!!!!

Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.

This is how the legislative bodies spend our tax dollars.

Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what...

Don't forget to pay your taxes!!!





Need an API?

I've built a little API-as-a-Service platform that makes it easy to create an API and deploy it to a private cloud. So easy you can use a spreadsheet and launch it in less than 5 minutes. Check out my 4 minute demo:

And visit UXAPI.io to learn more!


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Build an API from a CSV file in 4 minutes
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter