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Farmer's Daughter gives a ride (R)

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Farmers Daughter
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A salesman is driving down a country road one day when his car broke down. There was a farm near by, so he went up to ask for some help. The farmer suggested that his daughter, Nelly, could give him a ride into town to get the necessary parts for his car. Nelly was an innocent girl, the epitome of virginal beauty.

Nelly and the salesman were on their way into town when he convinced her to pull over to the side of the road to enlighten her about the facts of life. They had some down and dirty sex all over the car, and then went into town to get the car parts. By the time they got into town, the auto store was closed, so they had to return to the farm. The farmer allowed the salesman to spend the night in the barn and get his car fixed in the morning.

The next morning the salesman went up to the farmhouse to get Nelly so she could give him a ride into town. Nelly was gone, however, and her sister Venus opened the door. Venus was very unlike Nelly. She was sexy, voluptuous, and really even a bit sleazy. Venus volunteered to give the salesman a ride into town, and off they went. Venus did the convincing this time, and the salesman had the "ride" of his life. They eventually made it back to the farm with the parts, and the salesman fixed his car. He thanked the farmer, left his address to they could keep in touch in the future, and went on his merry way.

A few months later the salesman received a later from the farmer which contained only a poem:

Were you the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down?
'Cause since you met my daughter Nelly,
There's a swelling in her belly,
And you'd better get your ass back into town.

The salesman thought for a minute, and wrote the following response:

Yes, I was the one who did the pushin'
Left the bloodstains on the cushion
And the footprints on the dashboard upside down.
But since I met your daughter Venus,
I've had some problems with my penis,
So I guess we're pretty even all around.

I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!

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