Tell him you prefer your battery- operated toy, Joy.
Put on her teddy, Eddie.
Vote him off the show, Flo.
Throw a toaster in the tub, Bub.
Find another Cruz, Cruise.
Stop taking your Paxil, Axl.
Tell him you're really a man, Jan.
Tell her you're attracted to men, Ben.
Tell her about her odor, Fyodor.
Have an affair with an intern, Vern.
Call her a skank, Hank.
Dump her on "Springer," Klinger.
Marry her off to another wacko, Jacko.
Keep saying, "Dude, you're not gettin' a Dell!" Adele.
Dress like a girl, Merle.
Say she looks fat in those pants, Lance.
Tell her Ashcroft won't let you leave, Steve.
Run off with her mother, Strother.
Bust a cap in her kitty, P. Diddy.
Add small quantities of mercury to her dinner every night over a period of several years, making her slowly, but surely, insane, Wayne.
Make too many bad rhymes, Tom.
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.