Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
9> When you ask for an appendix, she winks suggestively and shows you her scar.
8> Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of Literary Tardiness".
7> Files Art Buchwald under "Humor"
6> Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video store parking lot.
5> No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a piece of toast and a Q-tip.
4> Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", which involves regular belts of scotch.
3> Instead of a simple "Shhhh", uses a bullhorn to say, "One more sound and I cap yo' ass!"
2> Flashes patrons and yells, "Hey! Check *this* out!"
1> Leans over to whisper something and bites off half of your right ear...." />
15> Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of "Yes, I Can" by Sammy Davis, Jr.
14> Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to the "Quiet Please" sign.
13> Recommends Kato Kaelin's book.
12> Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively licks the inside cover.
11> Library only has two sections: "Limbaugh" and "Liddy."
10> Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of Gray's Anatomy.
9> When you ask for an appendix, she winks suggestively and shows you her scar.
8> Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the "Rod of Literary Tardiness".
7> Files Art Buchwald under "Humor"
6> Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video store parking lot.
5> No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a piece of toast and a Q-tip.
4> Uses the "Dewer's Decimal System", which involves regular belts of scotch.
3> Instead of a simple "Shhhh", uses a bullhorn to say, "One more sound and I cap yo' ass!"
2> Flashes patrons and yells, "Hey! Check *this* out!"
1> Leans over to whisper something and bites off half of your right ear.
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
