The reason it's always so difficult for this president to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it's usually three different stories. --Sam Donaldson
If the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote. --Newt Gingrich
What's wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same thing. --Kenneth Starr
The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the entire Grand Jury. --Monica Lewinsky
Shouldn't the president be held to the same standards as a TV sportscaster? --Marv Albert
The president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern. --OJ Simpson
If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who swore she didn't have sex with the president, I'd never get any of my own work done. --Vernon Jordan
The president should take up skiing. --Al Gore
If you're looking for me this week, I'll be in the bunker. --Saddam Hussein
Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure the door is locked. --George Stephanopoulos
In last week's Cabinet meeting, the president asked us to go out and win one for the zipper. --Madeliene 'Aunt Bea' Albright
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.