"If you think the brie's good, you should try the salmon pate." 6> "Oooh, Girlfriend -- Just look at all these hunks! Set your phaser for 'Love!'" 7> "You're nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part of any Iron Man Triatholan." 8> "Look! It's Eddie Murphy!" 9> "I got laid last night!" 10> "Kirk, Picard... what's the difference, they're both losers. I'll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day." 11> "I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was really deserving of all this attention." 12> "It's pointless to compare the original crew to the Next Generation, since they're only fictional characters anyway." 13> "Make it so, Baby, make it so." 14> "Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me look fat?" 15> "Will the owner of the red Porsche 911, license plate 'STUDMFN', please turn your headlights off?"..." /> Jokeindex home

You'll never hear at a Star Trek Convention (G)

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1> "Hey, guys, how 'bout we finish this conversation over a beer at the topless bar?"

2> "Jim Beam me up, Scotty."

3> "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a has-been actor, not an autograph-signer!"

4> "To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Patrick Stewart."

5> "If you think the brie's good, you should try the salmon pate."

6> "Oooh, Girlfriend -- Just look at all these hunks! Set your phaser for 'Love!'"

7> "You're nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part of any Iron Man Triatholan."

8> "Look! It's Eddie Murphy!"

9> "I got laid last night!"

10> "Kirk, Picard... what's the difference, they're both losers. I'll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day."

11> "I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was really deserving of all this attention."

12> "It's pointless to compare the original crew to the Next Generation, since they're only fictional characters anyway."

13> "Make it so, Baby, make it so."

14> "Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me look fat?"

15> "Will the owner of the red Porsche 911, license plate 'STUDMFN', please turn your headlights off?"




I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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