Collards is green, My dog's name is Blue And I'm so lucky To have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk A-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's And without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, Which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales But I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry Jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" Right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth, For which I am proud; I hold my head high When we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, When you shave under yore arms, Well, I'm in hawg heaven, And awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, They all want to know, What I did to deserve Such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape Yo're there fer yore man, To patch up life's troubles And fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug A-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth Like a plaid flannel shirt, You spark up my life More than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack, My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin'. Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie With a RC cold drank, We go together Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate For Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, It's romantic that way.
Some men git roses On that special day From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds From a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," They explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, These won't do. Cause yor'e too special, You sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor, More useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.