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You know you're in a redneck hospital when... (PG)

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Redneck's/Hicks
... Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.

... Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.

... Dogs hang around O.R. for scraps.

... Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

... Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.

... Your Gynecologist is Ernest.

... Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

... The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.

... Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

... Hospital food consist of picking-your-own corn on the roof.

... Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

... Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

... You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

... You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

... The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.




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