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7 signs the santa at the mall is nuts (PG)

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* Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're goin' down, punk!"

* Keeps going on about how the New York Times should publish his 35,000 word list of who's naughty and nice.

* Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to have never worn white gloves or shiny black boots.

* Right before souvenir photo is snapped, he whispers, "This year, you ain't gettin' squat!"

* When kids say, "My daddy says you're not really Santa," he responds with, "He's not really your daddy."

* That snowy beard? Nothin' but nose hair.

* While it's admittedly a nifty trick, blowing smoke rings out of his tracheotomy hole is just scaring the kiddies.

I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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