* Every so often, snaps into a Slim Jim and growls, "You've been bad and now you're goin' down, punk!"
* Keeps going on about how the New York Times should publish his 35,000 word list of who's naughty and nice.
* Despite massive photographic evidence to the contrary, claims to have never worn white gloves or shiny black boots.
* Right before souvenir photo is snapped, he whispers, "This year, you ain't gettin' squat!"
* When kids say, "My daddy says you're not really Santa," he responds with, "He's not really your daddy."
* That snowy beard? Nothin' but nose hair.
* While it's admittedly a nifty trick, blowing smoke rings out of his tracheotomy hole is just scaring the kiddies.
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
