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Getting some on the range (PG)

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A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at down they tear off a piece and when he returns home at evening they have another go before and after supper and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is during the day: the fields are a long way from the house and the young man loses so much time traveling home and back again at noon that he decides to consult a friend (the town's doctor) about what to do.

'Easiest thing in the world, Homer' says the doctor. 'You take your rifle out with you every day don't you? Well when you feel like you're in the mood for some lovin' just fire a shot into the air as a signal to your wife for her to come out to you. That way you won't lose any workin' time.'

Homer tries this and it seems to work pretty good for a while. One day though the doctor stops by the house to pay a visit and he notices Homer sitting alone inside looking very morose.

'What's wrong?' he asks. 'Didn't my idea work? And where's your wife?'

'Oh, it worked' says Homer. 'Whenever I got in the mood I fired off a shot like you said and Beckie'd come runnin'. Then we'd find a secluded place and do it after which Beckie'd go back home.'

'So what's the problem?'

'Well I think I overdid it, Doc. I ain't seen hide nor hair of Beckie since the huntin' season got started!'




I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!


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