I know a mother-in-law who sleeps in her spectacles, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams. - Attributed to Ernest Coquelin

However much you dislike you mother-in-law you must not set fire to her. - Ernest Wild

Distrust all mothers-in-law. They are completely unscrupulous in what they say in court. The wife's mother is always more prejudiced against the husband than even the most ill-treated wife. If I had my way, I am afraid I would abolish mothers-in-law entirely. - Sir Geoffrey Wrangham

Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law.

Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-Law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween?

My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now ? She's fine. But, the dog died.

Hello. Your mother-in-law fell into my pool with crocodiles. The crocodiles are yours, so you save them.

A pharmacist tells a customer: In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.

Mother to daughter: Your boyfriend such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.

A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, ''Darling, its my mothers birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric.'' The husband replied, ''How about a chair?!?''

The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said ''Can I stay here for a few days?'' I said: ''Sure you can.'' and shut the door in her face.

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!