1) It insulates the closet where it is kept. 2) It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care. 3) A sudden increase in the boll weevil population might wipe out the cotton crop for the next 10 years. 4) I'm participating in a contest - the one who dies with the most fabric wins! 5) Because I'm worth it! 6) It's not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good! 7) Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all your shopping expeditions. 8) It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to protect the jobs of textile mill workers, and quilt shop staff with cute babies and grandchildren. 9) It keeps the dust off those previously empty spaces like the dining room table or the living room floor. 10) It keeps without refrigeration, you don't have to cook it to enjoy it, you never have to feed it, burp it, change it, wipe its nose, or walk it!
Need a Video?: I produce interesting, easy to understand presenations for very complicated stuff. For example:
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.