I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.
- Jerry Seinfeld.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
- Doug Larson.
My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don't work half the time.
What was green and a great trick shooter?
I leaf you with all this wisdom.
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: The New Facebook is Text Messaging
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter