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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Johnson, at your cervix."

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In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

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On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."

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At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

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On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

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In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

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At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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At the Electric Company

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."

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And don't forget the sign at a CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

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And the best one for last............

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"






I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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