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20 things I've discovered as I've gotten older (G)


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Now that I'm somewhat older, here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant -- live with it.

9. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

10. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.

11. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

12. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

13. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

14. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

15. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

16. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

17. It's not hard to meet expenses.... they're everywhere.

18. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

19. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter -- I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm "here after".

20. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded..





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My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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