Death of the Old Cow (G)
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop.
Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."
So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old. "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy.
Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks Nancy.
The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy.
"I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.'"
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter