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Some dirty love poems (R)

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Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey!

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit!

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring up a friend
and try double entry!

Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
So's your Vaginer!

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just come
Pass me a hanky.

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
'Cause here comes my willy!

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your top
And show us your tits.

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me bitter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter.

Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Why I dropped out of Social Media
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