1> Group: Anorexics Anonymous. You: Big chubby guy with an affinity for cheesecake.
2> Only half an hour into the meeting, and the keg's already dry.
3> Counselor greets you with, "Well, if it isn't Princess Pathetic!"
4> Their idea of 12 Steps involves two six-packs.
5> Instead of Mars & Venus, leader suggests you get in touch with Uranus.
6> You're host of the upcoming pool party for your Incontinent Beer-Drinkers Support Group.
7> They've voted to change their name to "Cathie Haters Anonymous."
8> Your Heart Attack Recovery Group counselor hasn't moved in three weeks and is starting to smell a little gamey.
9> Four months and the Nymphomania Group still hasn't recruited a female member.
10> Their 12-step program: "Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot in, then you shake it all about..."
11> "Parents Without Partners" survey: 18 members, 18 beards.
12> The washroom towels at your Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting all say, "Holiday Inn."
13> None of the other sex addicts really understand how tough it is to run the damn country.
14> "The 'Making Your Marriage Work' seminar is happy to introduce our guest speaker, Larry King."
15> The name: Promise Breakers
16> You start to wonder if other Overeaters Anonymous groups stop their meetings for triple-bacon-cheeseburger breaks.
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.