God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they really pissed me off!
Cats teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Seize the dayÖthen go back to bed!
Donít take life so seriously. Itís not permanent.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Money canít buy happiness. But is sure makes misery easier to live with.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can put on someone elseís desk today.
Therapy is expensive. Poppiní bubble wrap is cheap. You choose!
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines and never get back to you.
It takes 42 muscles to frown but only four to extend my middle finger and tell someone to bite me!
America is Drinking From Home!
The problem is that most of y'all are amateur drinkers and don't have what it takes to make a cocktail at home. But I've got you covered-- here's my overview to the basics you need in your home bar setup.
Here are the Bar Necessities.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.