For those of you who have never traveled to the great West or Southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. I need to make that clear in order for everyone to appreciate the following TRUE story.
President GW Bush received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered the Secretary of Interior to fire half of the guards immediately. Before the Secretary could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's Congress-woman Pat Schroeder intervened with a request that before any were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
Editor's note: No, it didn't really happen...
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