Jokeindex home

Putdowns by Wrestler Bill "The Bard" Shakespeare (PG)


More Stuff!
Jokeindex Home
PG rated jokes
Intellectual
Lists
Parody
1> "Hie thee away, scoundrel, lest this metallic vessel be oped; its whoop-ass forthwith unleash'd."

2> "Shall I compare thee to a summer's eve? For verily, thou art a douche-bag!"

3> "Unbridled envy wouldst thine ample codpiece inspire, save that it concealeth naught but a minnow."

4> "Get thee to a nunnery! For next to nun, methinks, is thy prospect of victory."

5> "Faugh! Thy putrid exhale couldst topple the carrion fowl from off his perch, atop a cart with human refuse laden."

6> "Thou mewling swag-bellied scullion! Thou wretched folly-fallen cutpurse! Most grievously doth thy visage offend the eye, thou droning flap-mouthed pignut!"

7> "Behind yon mask of red and gold, what coxcomb struts and frets in dainty tights, unswell'd by manly cord?"

8> "Of fruitless issue is thy ill-spoken slander! For elastic is my composition, whilst thine is adhesive."

9> "As thy wife for me last e'en did bend, So shall thy legs before thee at match's end!"

10> "But, soft! What stench through yonder buttocks breaks?"

11> "What warrior doth tread distant battlefields unshod, his footwear relinquish'd to her whose loins begat thee?"

12> "Fat-kidneyed rascal, thine canker'd countenance shall kiss the cold earth anon!"






Need a Video?: I produce interesting, easy to understand presenations for very complicated stuff. For example:



Learn more at michaelbissell.com

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Siri Being Disturbingly Helpful
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter