High Brow Washington Post Jokes (G)
Here are a selection of jokes from the Washington Post -- if you don't get 'em, the * are explained at the bottom...
An American tourist in Italy is constipated for a week, but when he arrives in Florence, the water is better and his condition goes away. "With Firenze* like this," he said, "who needs enemas?"
Dr. Smith: My son passed calculus* but he wasn't at all happy about it.
Dr. Jones: Why not?
Dr. Smith: It was the size of a pea!
Dr. Jones: Hahaha-ha.
A young American woman is touring Germany. She is walking down the street when a sleazy guy jumps out of an alley and opens his raincoat. "Ewww," she shrieks. "That's gross." "Danke schoen," he says.
Did you hear about the incompetent Hawaiian vulcanologist? He didn't know his a'a's* from a hole in the ground.
George Bush: Who's* on first?
Ariel Sharon: Me?*
George Bush: No, the guy on first base.
Ariel Sharon: Me?
George Bush: You are on first?
Ariel Sharon: No, I'm asking you. Me?
George Bush: Who?
Ariel Sharon: Wait, you mean that fellow over there?
George Bush: So he* is on first?
Ariel Sharon: What are you talking about? There are no girls on this team.
George Bush: So who's on first?
Ariel Sharon: Me?
Q: Why did the recently crowned Miss Argentina blush?
A: Because she was embarazada!*
Joke 1: *Firenze is the Italian word for Florence.
Joke 2: *In medicine, a calculus is a kidney stone.
Joke 3: *In German, gross means large, or great.
Joke 4: *A'a's are a type of lava found in Hawaii.
Joke 5: *In Hebrew, the word meaning "who" is pronounced "me"; the word for "he" is pronounced "who"; and the word for "she" is pronounced "he."
Joke 6: *In Spanish, embarazada means pregnant.
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begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
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