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Advice for Women (G)


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If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section

buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you

buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors

buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give a damn about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually,

buy a dog.

But on the other hand If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then .............

Buy a cat.

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)







Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback


Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Why I dropped out of Social Media
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