Where to Send Saddam? (G)
Now that one plan offered by Bush to Saddam is exile, the question is Where? Roy Rivenburg of the L.A. Times (with a little help from the newspaper The Oregonian's column The Edge) have come up with some ideas:
Fox TV: Writes Rivenburg: "On the heels of 'Joe Millionaire,' Fox could produce a new series called 'Joe Dictator,' in which 20 beautiful women compete to become Saddam's mistress. During the courting process Saddam would tell the women he's the potentate of an oil-rich Middle Eastern nation. Not until the final episode would he reveal the truth -- that he has been driven from power and doesn't have a single weapon of mass destruction to his name."
Pro Wrestling: If World Wrestling Entertainment needs a new bad guy, he's the perfect candidate: Saddam Insane.
"The Real World: Las Vegas": Is there room for one more stranger in the infamous hot tub?
He could become O.J. Simpson's caddy or...
Al Gore's butler
Head coach of the Cincinnati Bengals
He could share Dick Cheney's bunker
Send him to France, where he'll spend the rest of his days being served by French waiters.
Give him his own late-night talk show, with sidekick Slobodan Milosevic and bandleader Fidel Castro.
Hearst Castle: As the owner of 78 presidential palaces, Saddam would probably be an excellent grounds-keeper for the former estate of William Randolph Hearst.
"Bush Survivor: Evil Island": In the latest entry of the CBS reality show, Saddam joins Bill Clinton, former Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega, North Korean president Kim Jong Il and a handful of other Bush enemies on a remote island, competing against a tribe of Bushes: George W., George Sr., Barbara, Jeb, W's troublesome twins Jenna and Barbara, and Jeb's jailbird daughter Noelle.
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: The New Facebook is Text Messaging
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter