Tell him you prefer your battery- operated toy, Joy.
Put on her teddy, Eddie.
Vote him off the show, Flo.
Throw a toaster in the tub, Bub.
Find another Cruz, Cruise.
Stop taking your Paxil, Axl.
Tell him you're really a man, Jan.
Tell her you're attracted to men, Ben.
Tell her about her odor, Fyodor.
Have an affair with an intern, Vern.
Call her a skank, Hank.
Dump her on "Springer," Klinger.
Marry her off to another wacko, Jacko.
Keep saying, "Dude, you're not gettin' a Dell!" Adele.
Dress like a girl, Merle.
Say she looks fat in those pants, Lance.
Tell her Ashcroft won't let you leave, Steve.
Run off with her mother, Strother.
Bust a cap in her kitty, P. Diddy.
Add small quantities of mercury to her dinner every night over a period of several years, making her slowly, but surely, insane, Wayne.
Make too many bad rhymes, Tom.
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.