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Lettuce and Tomatoes (R)

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One day two teenagers decided to have sex. So they went to the guys house. He shared a bunk bed with his brother -- being the older, he slept on the top bunk.

The guy said, "If you want it harder say lettuce, if you want a knew position say tomatoes." So they went on with lettuce , tomatoes, lettuce, tomatoes.

The little brother woke up and said, "Would you guys stop making sandwiches? You're dripping mayonnaise on me!"

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King Forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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