Abraham is an old Jewish man who is a yarn merchant. He lives next door to the biggest anti-Semite in town. One day the anti-Semite calls up Abraham and says, 'Hey Jew!!!... I need a piece of orange yarn. The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and I want it delivered tomorrow.'
Abe says, 'OK.'
The next morning the Anti-Semite is awakened at 7 AM by the sound of running engines. He runs outside to see a row trucks lined up one after the other, dumping truckful after truckful of orange yarn in his front yard. Soon his yard is a 5-foot deep sea of orange yarn. Abe then presents a bill for $18,000 to the anti-Semite.
The guy starts yelling and screaming at Abe. 'What is this? This is not what I asked for! I told you I needed a piece of yarn from the end of your nose to the tip of your penis. Look at this place! What do you have to say for yourself?'
Straightfaced, Abe replies 'I'm very careful when I deal with people like you, that's why I got a few witnesses here with me. I may be off by a few miles, so I gave you a 2% discount; but the tip of my penis is in Poland.'
Here's what I did stuck at home...
I got bored just puttering in my shop, so I thought I'd take that old lattice in the back yard and nail it to the wall. Actually turned out pretty cool
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.