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19th Century Euphemisms for Masturbation (PG)

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16> Emptyin' the Saloon

15> Pocket Punch 'n' Judy

14> Signing your John Hancock

13> Dragging Thyself to Hell, One Hand's Breadth at a Time

12> Waving to Queen Victoria

11> Trying for a Scarlet "M"

10> Oiling the Pennywhistle

9> Assaulting the Tower of London

8> Cleaning the Musket

7> Quashing the Southern Uprising

6> Monitoring your Merrimac

5> Driving the Golden Spike

4> Delivering the Ejaculation Proclamation

3> Churning the Codpiece Butter

2> Square Dancing with Satan

1> Addressing Lord Palmer

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Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

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