Goofy 9-1-1 calls from the new book "What's the Number for 9-1-1?: America's Wackiest 9-1-1 Calls" by Leland H. Gregory III (Andrews McMeel Publishing):
Caller: "These bee-droppings are ruining my roof!"
A woman dialed 9-1-1 in the middle of a rainstorm to ask if police could give her a ride to avoid getting her new hairdo wet.
Caller: "Please connect me to Switzerland."
Paramedics, responding to an "abdominal evisceration," arrived at the caller's residence to find a 13-year-old boy lying on a bed. They quickly examined the boy but could find nothing wrong with him. When they asked why he had called 9-1-1, the boy told them he had "stuff" coming out of his navel. Further investigation revealed the "stuff" to be belly-button lint.
9-1-1 Dispatcher: "Fire or emergency?" Caller: "Neither. My son was bothering me. I just wanted to let you know."
Caller: "Can you tell me when the next earthquake is?"
Velma Ann Wantlin of Houma, La., called 9-1-1 to report that her husband was preventing her from watching "Knots Landing."
9-1-1 Dispatcher: "9-1-1. Please state your emergency." Caller: "Yeah, am I talking to a real operator or is this a recording?" Dispatcher: "This is a real operator. Please state your emergency." Caller: "Are you sure you're a real person? You sort of sound like a recording." Dispatcher (irritated): "I'm a real person, sir!" Caller: "OK. Now you sound like a real operator."
9-1-1 Dispatcher: "Are you conscious?" Caller: "No."
A man in La Vergne, Tenn., called 9-1-1 to report that his wife was pouring all his beer down the drain.
Caller: "My phone doesn't work."
9-1-1 Dispatcher: "Fire and ambulance." Caller: "Yes sir, I need an ambulance for my son. He has his finger stuck in a Hot Wheels car." Dispatcher: "I'm sorry, sir. Is this an emergency?" Caller: "Well, it's his favorite one!"
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.