One night a couple was sitting on the couch talking when they heard a terrible noise outside. They ran out to see what it was. When they got there they were shocked to see that and alien spaceship had landed in their backyard. The aliens said, "Don't worry we come in peace. We just want to talk."
So the couple and the aliens sit down to talk. After awhile they start to get tired to they decide to go to bed. The alien couple said, "Look we've never had sex with a human and we know you've never had sex with an alien so how about we switch places for the night." The human couple agreed. The human woman and the male alien began messing around in a bedroom.
When the alien man pulled out his dick the woman complained that it was too small, so he said, "Oh thats no problem look." He hit himself in the forehead and it grew 1 inch.
"Wow thats amazing"
"Yeah" he replied "just keep doing that until it is the size you want it."
Well after awhile she got it where she wanted it and then complained that it was too small around. so he said' "Well watch this" And pulled his ears. It got bigger around. "just keep doing that until its the size you want it." After that they started having sex.
The next morning after the aliens left the human couple were talking and the male asks, "So how was it?" She replied'
"It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. What about you?"
"Well I hated it!"
"The bitch kept hitting me and pulling my ears!"
I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and turn them into Lamps
The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.