Shakespearean Pickup Lines (PG)
The Top 15 Pick-Up Lines Used by William Shakespeare
15> 'How about a little Puck?'
14> 'Of course, 'Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady.'
13> 'Et tu, Cutie?'
12> 'Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?'
11> 'If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?'
10> 'Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?'
9> 'My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent.'
8> 'Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the
evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean.'
7> 'Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?'
6> 'Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!'
5> 'Greetings to you, fair sailor.'
4> 'But soft, what light through yonder trousers breaks?'
3> 'Wouldst thou away to yon Motel 6 with me?'
2> 'O! Prithee sitteth upon my visage, and perchance to let me divine thy weight.'
and the Number 1 Pick-Up Line Used by William Shakespeare...
1> 'Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question.'
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Tribal Amnesia
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter