A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra."
"Spectacular!" the man replies.
"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the King of England, he loves the music. He says 'Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo. We play for the Queen of France. She loves the music. She says 'Fill the instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo. Then we play for the czar of Russia. He hates the music. He says 'Shove the instruments up their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't fit, AND ME WITH THE GODDAMN PICCOLO!"
America is Drinking From Home!
The problem is that most of y'all are amateur drinkers and don't have what it takes to make a cocktail at home. But I've got you covered-- here's my overview to the basics you need in your home bar setup.
Here are the Bar Necessities.
Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at
michaelbissell.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.