Bulls eye contest (G)
A drunk walks into a bar one night and reads a sign on the wall that says "Ask me about our contest".
"What's this about your contest?" the drunk queried.
"Oh yeah," the bartender said, "we have this contest going. If you can hit the bull's eye three times in a row, you win a prize."
"I think I might try your contest," the drunk replied. "Give me a drink."
So the bartender fixes him a drink, the man glugs it down, and throws the dart. BANG! It hits the bull's eye.
"Fix me two drinks!" the drunk says. The bartender complies. The man throws a second dart and BAM! it hits the bull's eye.
"Wow! Nobody's ever done two before!" the bartender cried in awe.
"Yeah, well fix me three drinks!" the man says, and the bartender does. BAM! a third dart hits the bull's eye. By this point, the man is sloppy drunk. "What do I get?" he asked.
The bartender didn't know what to give him since no one had ever one before. So, he grabbed a turtle out of a terrarium and handed it to the man who then stumbled out of the bar.
A couple of weeks later, the same man comes back into the bar, sober.
"Hey!" the bartender says. "You gonna try our contest again? That was pretty incredible last time."
"Yeah," the man says, "I think I will. Give me three darts." BANG BANG BANG! they all hit the bull's eye. "So what do I get?" the man asks.
"Well what did I give you last time?" The bartender questioned.
"I'm not sure," answered the man, "but I think it was a roast beef sandwich on a hard roll."
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Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
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