Birds and the bees speech (G)
It was a bright and cold winter morning, Mom and sister were at the mall so Dad decided it was a good time for a father and son chat about "the birds and the bees" with his 10 year old boy.
"I don't want to know!" the child cried, bursting into tears and runing away to his room.
The confused father followed, and as his son lay face down on his bed sobbing, dad asked what was wrong.
"Oh, Dad," the boy cried, "At age six, I got the 'there's no Santa' speech.
"At age seven, I got the 'there's no Easter Bunny' speech.
"Then, at age 8, you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech!
"If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really have sex, I've got NOTHING left to live for!"
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Being Watched by TV
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter