According to the President, the first runner up in the White House dog-naming contest was DOTUS.
FYI: these Secret Service translations:
POTUS=President of the United States,
FLOTUS=First Lady of the United States
The Top 11 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy
11. To avoid confusion, staff begins referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
10. New 'doggy door' makes it that much easier to sneak out a midnight run to McDonald's.
9. At long last, Bill won't have to flinch *every* time he hears 'Bad boy.'
8. 'Bitch' label now somewhat ambiguous.
7. Accusations of random crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
6. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
5. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note....
4. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore's daily to-do list.
3. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
2. Cries of 'What a dog!' no longer make Janet Reno wince at State dinners.
1. To the embarrassment of the trainers, DOTUS still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Historical Figures in Modern Clothes
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter